Burnout and State of Mind

So, I've only had a few updates recently, and they've been much further apart than they normally are - and I completely acknowledge and own that.

I've had a bunch of stuff going on that's taken a toll mentally. Foremost, a member of my family has been diagnosed with cancer after a long period of remission/no-cancer. So that really, really sucks. Secondly, work hasn't been great. There's been more folks let go from leadership roles, and there's an additional target of 15% of the workforce to be "trimmed". That's pretty downright ordinary too. Even that aside, work isn't really all that inspiring or motivating al all. It's become a eight hour shift of doing work, that'll be rarely used, for folks that don't care about it, and really, I'd question the value that our team adds at all.

So. Where does that leave me.

Amusingly, chasing butterflies. Doing loads of things that aren't overly important.

Really, I'm in a pretty anxious state, which sort of feels hyperactive, but also useless at the same time. I want to do everything, but accomplish nothing. I'm feeling burnt out, but I don't want to walk away from anything. So, all in all, a bit of a right mess, you might say.

I'm very slowly plodding along, I've added some items, I've added some NPCs, I've added some quest stuff. It's all very meager, and not at all any grand updates or additions, but I'm trying to keep myself stepping forward to what I need for the beta. I think, there's also a really big feeling of pressure to go with that too. What if everyone that's been coming here once a week, or once a month to check on updates, downloads it once I open up t he beta... and what if it's not up to expectations? As I get nearer and nearer the moment when I do open the beta stage up, I get more and more apprehensive of it maybe not being good enough. What if folks get through all the content in a day? What if the skills aren't good enough? What if the animations and world aren't where you expect it to be?

And look, I've been in not-fantastic states of mind before in my life. I can recognize when I'm not looking at the world in full colour - and I'm admitting that right now, that's where I am at. I dare say, that I'll manage to right this ship sooner rather than later, to get my motivation up where it needs to be, and to find that confidence in what I do - and to take it back to my day-to-day existence. I'm hoping that it's not far off, as I'll be the first to voice my frustration with lack of progress currently, and with each day adding another day to the delay of the open beta I've been working towards.

So, to those of you that come to the site for regular updates, I both apologize and ask for a bit of a reprieve. I'm working through it, and I'll be at full speed soon again I very much hope. If you're here for the first time, Check out all my awesome updates below - they're generally much better than this.

Okay, so here's the scoop on the image. It's part of a quest starting out of Rust and Timber.

Content and Quests Continues

I got a good bit of work done yesterday evening, just progress on content. I brushed up a bit of conversation in the Farmhouse with Joe, I started making a quest, then got sidetracked fixing a bug (fixed it!) in the editor that was stopping one thing, that didn't then pass information onto another thing, which means that if I changed something quests wouldn't work in the game. So you know, as it turned out, one thing was called "event" when it should have been called "eventID" on line (I'm not even joking) 9995 of a javascript file in the editor... and quests didn't work.

Right, rant over.

So, as I thought before, it's a lot easier making quests and conversations for NPCs when the world is sort of built up. I can use stuff I've created to weave into the quest text or conversation dialogue "Careful, there's loads of brown bears in that area" or "past Finger's Retreat along the coast" and that sort of thing - then as the player travels, they'll come to the right area, get the game journal show they are entering the right area, and then brown bears pop up on screen.... you know you're in the right place.

I've also been setting up some infrastructure for a proper beta, so there will be a discord community set up, looking to capture good feedback and work through issues, as well as maintain some to-do lists and the like.

Rust and Timber Farmhouse

I had some fun today, filling out the Rust and Timber Farmhouse, which until now was mainly empty this evening. I also did some other bits, but thought this would make for a nice little update.

The farm offers all manner of food and drink, and might just start a quest or two off as well. Joe, as always hovering around the front desk ready to help anyone as needed, with Megan further in the shop making everything look easy.

World Building Progress

It's been quite a whirlwind at work recently, so not conducive to being in a great head-space after work and then getting into code or content building, but I have made some progress over the weekend nonetheless.

I've filled up all the Floren Islands with zone information, spawn locations and have been importing new assets. I've been creating items, loot tables and encounters to fill them with.

I think there's a bit more of this to do, but it's shrinking, then I will add in NPCs through the world I've created and give them conversations and quests.

In a recent post, I did outline a list of code things I need to get done, I've not really progressed on those, but for now, that's fine. I don't think any of those are show-stoppers.